It's that time again

Its that time of year again
when shops are filled with joy
when lights are bright
and sheer delight shows in every girl and boy

The xmas music is playing
through every store I go
the decorations are everywhere
and the holly is on show

I remember a time 8 yrs ago
when this would have filled me with hope
now it means something so different
it leaves me wondering how will I cope?

How do I get through this day
this family day of the year
when his absence is so much sharper
and I just so wish he was here

Here to enjoy all the presents
here to give hugs and kisses
here to watch lights with awe
here to give Santa his wishes

Instead I have an empty chair
a stocking with a name but no gifts
a grave with tinsel and flowers
and a heart that is all adrift

So I put on the mask that I must wear
on this happiest day of the year
I plaster my smile on and take a deep breath
and shed a silent tear.

© Theresa Carter Grace's Mummy
December 2001
http://www.geocities.com/gracebrianna/